


Banana Clip

by Aesthetic_bane



Category: Good Will Hunting, Shadowhunters, The Mortal Instruments
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Bottom Alec, But more like a medium burn, Child Abuse, Dancer Alec Lightwood, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Good will hunting - Freeform, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Lovers to boyfriends, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Malec, Malec AU, PTSD, Past Abuse, Past Suicide Attempt, Slow Burn, Smut, Song fic, Tooth Rotting Fluff, Top Magnus, equal pining, everything works out, flash backs, hurt comfort, sex buddies, sucidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-12 22:58:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17476565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aesthetic_bane/pseuds/Aesthetic_bane
Summary: Whether Magnus realizes it or not, he had sex like he was making love and it only made Alec fall deeper for him.OrThe loosely based Good Will Hunting Malec AU no one asked for





	1. Will

**Author's Note:**

> ᴅᴇғɪɴɪᴛɪᴏɴ:  
> ᴡɪʟʟ- ᴇxᴘʀᴇssɪɴɢ ɪɴᴇᴠɪᴛᴀʙʟᴇ ᴇᴠᴇɴᴛs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

    Alec woke up to the beautiful site of one Magnus Bane, his boyfrie- well, his current fuck buddy. Having been in this er, arrangement of sorts, for nearly a year, Alec knows Magnus doesn’t and will never feel the same way for Alec as he feels for Magnus, and truly it wasn’t Alec’s intention to fall for the taller man when he first met him but, here he was anyways, head over heals for a closed off guy. When Alec and Magnus had first met through mutual friends, Alec was a nervous virgin and undoubtedly attracted to one Magnus Bane. Despite Alec’s bland looks, lack of experience and boring personality, Magnus somehow found interest in him- of all people. They quickly hit it off, starting out as friends before turning into something more once a mutual attraction was brought to light. The first time he and Magnus slept together was one of the best nights of his life. Whether Magnus realizes it or not, he had sex like he was making love and it only made Alec fall deeper for him. Alec tried his best to let the arrangement be what it is and not let his pesky feelings get caught up in it but it was mornings like these that made Alec’s heart ache with a need for more. More of Magnus and more with Magnus. As his mind wondered, Alec let his fingers travel down Magnus’ naked back, the expanse of tan skin marred with different scars and scattered throughout that Alec couldn’t help but wonder about. The morning after he and Magnus gave into their desires they sat down and talked about what they would do going from there. Alec didn’t want to just pretend like it didn’t happen and he didn’t want to go back to normal, what he really wanted was a relationship with Magnus but that was out of the question so they ultimately decided on the friends with benefits deal, in order to preserve their great friendship and satisfy their needs at the same time but, every time Magnus was inside him, Alec couldn’t help but feel himself giving his heart over. Magnus understood him, he was there when he needed someone to talk to, when he wanted to be excited about something as trivial as a new book he read or as big as a new promotion. Alec loved his job, being one of the youngest teachers in the ABT(American Ballet Theatre) he got to both work with kids and his dream company. So that’s why when Alec got the news that the ABT board iwanted him to be stationed in Sacramento where they planned to open another studio, one for him to be in charge of, he was unimaginably happy. For a few seconds that is, until he realized that it would mean uprooting his life in New York and leaving Magnus. The day it happened Alec had talked to Magnus about It had been a few days since the offer and Alec knew he needed to get an answer to them fast so they had room for different outcomes. This is why Alec took a deep breath and decided to lay it on the line.

A week earlier

“Mags?” Alec said softly pushing lightly against Magnus’ shouldn’t to get him to stir, which of course he did, a light sleeper by nature

As his eyes opened slowly the breath taking color of them was revealed and Alec couldn’t help but melt a little under his gaze, still affected by the mixes of golden and green

“Alexander darling...what is it? You look terribly worried” Magnus said as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, stretching a bit before settling a more concentrated gaze on Alec’s face. Better late then never Alec thought before forcing himself to blurt out what was wanting to come out

“I got a promotion at ABT” Alec started

Magnus’ face immediatly lit up with a smile, “Thats great Alexander, what are you so worried about?” Magnus questioned causing Alec to sigh, turning in his back and staring up at the ceiling

“Well..it’s in Sacramento, they want me to be an inquisitor of sorts” Alec said in a lowly, before waiting for an answer from Magnus. The room was silent for a while before Magnus spoke

“Oh..wow that’s..”

“Yeah..” Alec responded with a sigh

“When will you be leaving?” Magnus asked his voice giving off a solid, unbothered tone

Alec let out another sigh. Magnus didn’t even care that he left.

“Well if I accept it.. I’d be leaving next Friday”

Magnus sat up looking down at Alec with a confused look, “If you accept it? Why wouldn’t you?”

Alec looked into Magnus beautiful eyes and felt his heart clench, because- how could he not know

“Well..I don’t know it would mean uprooting my life” and leaving you too Alec added in his head

Magnus looked sad for a second before the look turned understanding, “Alexander, change is hard I know, but I really do think you should go”

Flashback end

It was currently 3:45am on Friday, the day Alec was meant to leave. His friends had thrown him a going away party at his house the night before, making him promise to keep in contact with heartfelt goodbyes exchanged then since his flight, at 8:00 was way too early for any of them on a Saturday. Magnus had stayed the night anyways, each of them sharing one last night together. But, Alec should’ve known it would be all the harder to leave today with Magnus here. He’d gotten less sleep then was needed for the long traveling and chaotic day in front of him. Alec had just decided it was best for him to get up since it didn’t look like sleep was coming anytime soon,when Magnus moved beside him, indicating that he was stirring from his sleep

“You awake?” Alec asked in a soft voice down to Magnus’ sleeping form.

“No..” A sleepy response came, pulling a small laugh out of Alec

“Yes you are...” Alec said, starting to trace random designs on Magnus’ back with his finger, letting the comfortable silence hang in the air before he decided to say what was on his mind.

“Mags..come to California with me”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is mostly just for me to get my creative juices flowing again, so might delete at some point in time  
> Disclaimer: some scenes, mostly in the beginning of this story are direct replicas of the scenes from good will hunting,which is a great movie I highly recommend


	2. Rubber band

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ᴅᴇғᴇɴɪᴛɪᴏɴ 2:  
> ᴡɪʟʟ- ᴇxᴘʀᴇssɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴜᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴛᴇɴsᴇ

  A look of surprise, confusion and dread came over Magnus’ face, before he nervously chuckled and adjusted his body so it was facing Alec more, “What?”

“Come with me” Alec repeated, “I want you to come to California with me” Alec sat up in the bed, the blankets pooling at his waist and exposing the upper half of his torso Magnus sat up as well,

“You sure about that?”

“Yeah”

“But how do you know?” Magnus persisted

Alec looked down at his hands and shrugged, “I don’t know, I just know”

“Yeah but how do you know Alexander” Magnus asked again

Alec sighed and looked back into Magnus’ eyes, “I know because I...I feel it”

“But-“ Manus sighed and ran a hand through his silky dark strands, “that’s a really serious thing to say Alexander”

“I know-“

“We could be in California next week and you find something out about me that you don’t like and maybe you wish you hadn’t said that but you know it’s such a serious thing that you can’t take it back and now I’m stuck in California with someone who doesn’t really want to be with me and just wished they had a take back” Magnus said

Alec looked at Magnus. Really looking at him. And he saw it. This was Magnus pushing him away. For the first time since they met, Magnus was trying to push him away “I don’t want a take back I just want you to come to California with me Magnus-“

“Well I can’t come to California with you so..” Magnus said, looking away

Alec almost 100% expected this answer, but in the back of his mind he thought maybe, just maybe Magnus would feel the same and say yes. But even then, this wasn’t Magnus giving him an answer, this was Magnus trying to close himself off and Alec wouldn’t just leave it like that and accept it

“Why not?” Alec asked

“Does it really matter?” Magnus said with another sigh

“Why won't you come with me?” Alec repeated

“I need an answer Magnus, at least give me that. What are you so scared of?” He asked looking down at Magnus who immediately made to get up from the bed

“What am I scared of?” Magnus asked with a scoff

Alec crossed his arms and looked at Magnus incredulously, “Well, what aren't you scared of?” Alec said with a huff before continuing, “You live in your safe little world where nobody challenges you and you’re scared shitless to do anything else-“

“Don't tell me about my world” Magnus said his annoyance with the situation showing all over his face as he glared at Alec, “You're the one that's afraid. You just want to have your little fling with the guy from the other side of town and marry some prick from Harvard that your parents will approve of” Magnus spat accusingly and Alec couldn’t help but feel his heart break, because- is that what Magnus really thought of him? Of them? 

“What is your obsession with this money Magnus?” Alec asked exasperated, “You know that my mother died when I was 13 and I inherited this money. You don’t think everyday I wake up and I wish that I could give it back... that I would give it back in a second if it meant I could have one more day with her? But I can’t, and thats my life and I deal with it, so don’t put your shit on me when you’re the one that’s afraid” Alec said, standing up as well, as if he was going to leave. But Magnus couldn’t just let him, not after what he just said

“I’m afraid?” Magnus said scoffing, “What am I afraid of then? What the fuck am I afraid of?” Magnus challenged Alec angrily

“I don’t know what you’re afraid of Magnus and that is part of the problem. But have you ever stopped to realize that I’m afraid too?” Alec said exasperated, “But- fuck it I want to give it a shot! and at least I’m honest with you” Alec said accusingly

Magnus rose his eyebrows in disbelief, “I’m not honest with you?-“ He started before being quickly cut off by Alec

“No what about your family?” Alec asked, instantly regretting the words that he let slip out as he watched Magnus physically freeze and close himself off, staring at Alec with such a disbelieving look before he scoffed and shook his head

“Fuck this” was all he said before he started picking up his clothes, making to put them on but Alec couldn’t just let him do this, he didn’t get to run away and shut him out. So Alec walked over and stood directly in front of Magnus, grabbing the clothes from him and throwing them back on the floor

“No you’re not going, you’re not leaving-“ Alec stated before being cut off by Magnus

“What?! What do you wanna know?! That I don’t have a family?! That I’m an fuckin orphan?” Magnus shouted. Which immediately stunned Alec, not only at the fact that Magnus told him something so personal but at the fact that Magnus, who was always so put together, calm, flirty and upbeat was yelling, something he never did. It surprised Alec but also broke his heart because he looked vulnerable, standing there

“I-I didn’t know that-“ Alec tried but it was as if Magnus didn’t hear him, because he just continued

“No you don’t wanna hear that ! You don’t wanna hear that I got fucking cigarettes out on me when I was a little kid!”

Alec sucked in a breath. What? Magnus had cigarettes put out on him? Who..would do that to a child? Alec felt the tears well in his eyes “Mags I didn’t know that-“ Alec said his voice breaking with emotion, but it was just as if Magnus didn’t hear him as he continued “That this” Magnus said motioning to the long scar on his stomach, “isn’t fucking surgery that the motherfucker stabbed me. You don’t wanna hear that shit Alec! Don’t tell me you wanna hear that shit!” Magnus yelled, his voice sounding choked and broken as tears visibly pooled in his beautiful green gold eyes

Alec shook his head, as tears fell freely from his eyes, “I do wanna hear that! I wanna hear because I want to be able to help you-“

“Help me? What the fuck? What do I have a fucking sign on my back that says save me? Do I look like I need that?” Magnus screamed

Alec immediatly shook his head, reaching for Magnus, only for his advances to be pushed away by Magnus, “No Magnus, by the angel I just wanna be with you because I love you!-“

This. Alec admitting he loved Magnus out loud, seemed to quite literally push Magnus over the edge, who started to slump over as if it physically hurt to stand, tears streaming down his face as his body shook from his surpressed sobs, “Don’t bullshit me Alec-“ Magnus stated almost pleadingly

Alec moves closer, pulling Magnus to him, looking into his tear streaked face, his own tears blurring his sight momentarily as he kissed Magnus slowly “I love you” Alec stated, his voice sure of his words, “I wanna hear you say you don’t love me..because if you say that..I won’t call you after I leave for Sacramento..and I wont be in your life” Alec said, giving Magnus an out that he really hoped he wouldn’t take

All his hoping was for neigh though because Magnus straightend and looked Alec in the eye,

“I don’t love you” he murmured coldly before picking up his stuff and brushing past Alec, the door clicking shut behind him

Alec stood there, his heart breaking unable to stop the tears from falling as he sank to his room floor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This scene is an almost complete replica of a scene from good will hunting, which is what this story is an adaption of


	3. Michaelangelo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will- expressing facts about ability or capacity

Magnus stumbled his way out of Alec’s apartment as he attempted to put on his shoes while walking. It was still extremely early, the world still blanketed in darkness, and in checking his phone he found it was 4am. Great, just his luck. Sighing to himself Magnus scrolled through his contacts, clicking Raphael’s number. After a few rings his friends annoyed voice came through

“Ay dios mios Bane, it’s 4 in the fucking morning”

Magnus chuckled weakly and ran a hand through his hair, “Yeah- Yeah I know, sorry Rafe, but I was wondering if you could pick me up? I’m around Alec’s”

“Around Alec’s ? Well why are you phoning me when you have a perfectly capable person to drive you home-“

“Rafe please” 

A pause. A sigh. Then

“Ok”

——————————

Days passed and Magnus threw himself into his work at the construction company janitor work and the math problems with Professor. Now, anyone who took one look at him wouldn’t expect him to have any knowledge, let alone be helping out a professor from on of the most prestigious colleges in New York, but, it was a funny story really how it happened. Magnus had been the Janitor at NYU for some time and one day he noticed a math problem left on the chalk board in one classroom and he decided to do it, purely because math, science and even reading had always been fun, interesting and incredibly easy for him. So he solved the math problem and left it there. The next day, there was another one and he did it again, finishing up his answer when voices came from down the hall. Magnus finished it up and began the calmly but quickly walk away. A few days after that, Magnus was in court for a misdemeanor which wasn’t uncommon and he was approached by the Professor from that night, telling him that if he came and helped solved math problems along with seeing a therapist, he’d be fine to go. Magnus weighed his options and decided sure why not. Though he would never admit it, he actually really enjoyed doing math problems with the professor, even looked forward to them. The therapy side of it...was, different. His therapist Ragnor, was the fifth one the Professor had tried to see Magnus, and unlike the others..he stayed. Which was not expected for Magnus, seeing he had a nack for chasing people off if he wanted to. And in the case, he wanted to. During his first session with Ragnor, it had ended with Magnus being checked by Ragnor for talking bad about his late wife. The session after that, it was in a park where Ragnor had sat with Magnus and talked to him, not lecturing but just talking to him like a normal person, not a therapist. 

Flashback

“I thought about what you said to me the other day, about my painting. Stayed up half the night thinking about it. Something occurred to me and I fell into a deep, peaceful sleep and haven't thought about you since. You know what occurred to me?  
You're just a kid. You don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about” Ragnor said, his eyes trained on the swans swimming peacefully in the lake in front of them

“Why, thank you” Magnus started, his tone purely sarcastic but Ragnor continued as if Magnus hadn’t said anything at all, “It's all right. You've never been out of Brooklyn”

Magnus shrugged nonchalantly “No, I haven’t” he said, not seeing the point in the older mans statement 

Ragnor nodded, slowly, as if he was expecting that answer, “So, if I asked you about art you’d probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written...Michelangelo?” Ragnor said, pausing a beat before continuing “You know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientation, the whole works, right? But I bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling. Seen that.....” Ragnor said, trailing off as his eyes took on a far away look, as if he was playing out a memory, before he spoke again, ”If I asked you about woman you'd probably give me a syllabus of your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a person and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. I ask you about war, and you'd probably--uh--throw Shakespeare at me, right? But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap and watched him gasp his last breath, looking to you for help” he spoke, looking immensely sad for a second, “And if I asked you about love, you’d be quick to quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a person and been totally vulnerable. Knowing that someone could level you with their eyes. Feeling like- God put an angel on earth just for you...who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it’s like to be their angel and to have that love for her to be there forever. Through anything. Through cancer. You wouldn't know about sleeping sittin’ up in a hospital room for two months holding her hand because the doctors could see in your eyes that the term visiting hours don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, because that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself. I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. I look at you; I don't see an intelligent, confident man; I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you're a genius, Magnus. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine and you ripped my fuckin' life apart. You're an orphan right?”

Magnus shifts on the bench nervously, caught off guard by being addressed again but he nods in confirmation none the less

“Do you think I'd know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally, I don't give a shit about all that, because you know what? I can't learn anything from you I can't read in some fuckin' book. Unless you wanna talk about you, who you are. And I'm fascinated. I'm in. But you don't wanna do that, do you? You're terrified of what you might say” Ragnor states with certainty, his gaze finally moving from the lake in front to Magnus’ eyes, holding his gaze for a heavy second before standing up from to bench, “Your move”

Flashback end

After that day, Magnus had respect for Ragnor that hadn’t been there before, and although he continued to try and push his buttons in later sessions, he found himself opening up to the man. As he walked in to the familiar office today, he was a few feet away from Ragnors office when he heard the shouting back and fourth. Just as Magnus is about to open it, the Professor emerges and rushes past, seemingly not even noticing Magnus there. Ragnor however, notices him right away

“I can come back-“ Magnus tries, noticing the tense stance Ragnor has but Ragnor just waves it off, motioning him inside

“No, no, there isn’t any need. That stuff goes back years, between me and the Professor” Ragnor says as Magnus walks over, leaning on the table opposite of the older man who was now holding a slim beige folder within his grasp and Magnus immediately notices it as his file, having seen the beige folder so many times prior due to the array of foster homes is case worker put him in as a child. That folder has never meant something good

“You're not going to fail me are you?” Magnus says jokingly in order to play off his underlying fear

Ragnor just raises an eyebrow in question before Magnus clarifies by pointing to the folder. Ragnor seems to catch on and he smiles shaking his head 

“No Magnus I’m not going to ‘fail’ you” Ragnor says as he begins to flip through the folder silently

“So what's it say?” Magnus asks, mainly because as much as he’s seen if around, he’s never gotten to see inside the slim folder

Ragnor closes the folder before stretching his arm out in Magnus’ direction, offering it up, “You want to read it?”

Funnily enough, even though a chance to look into the mysterious folder was offered up, Magnus found himself not even as remotely interested anymore. Half of this was due to not caring and another half was due to the fact that he’d already guessed what must’ve been in there. It was most likely documentation of his abuse at the hands of his many foster parents and that..was not something he willingly wanted to to again, so, he just shook his head in answer. Ragnor shrugged and retracted his outstretched arm, going back to observing the pages of the folder

After a beat of silence, Magnus asked, “Have you had any experience with that?”

Ragnor blew out a breath and nodded, “Twenty years of counseling you see a lot of-“

Magnus cut him off though, trying to get Ragnor to see what he was asking, “No, have you had any experience with that?”

Ragnor regards Magnus for a second and not long after the realization sinks in and he shrugs before answering, “Yeah”

Magnus gives a wry smile, “It sure isn’t good”

Ragnor nods in agreement, silent for a while before speaking again, “My dad used to make us walk down to the park and collect the sticks he was going to beat us with. My brother and I, we would practice on each other trying to find sticks that would break.”

“He used to just put a belt, a stick and a wrench on the kitchen table and say choose." Magnus says 

Ragnor shakes his head in either disgust, disbelief or a mixture of both, “I’d have to go with belt on that one” he says

“No,I used to go with the wrench” Magnus says almost nonchalantly, earning a quizzical look from his therapist 

“The wrench, why?” Ragnor asks almost amused

“Cause fuck him, that's why” Magnus says tilting his chin up in defiance and putting on his usually cocky smirk before he lets it slip off his face, letting his eyes roam around that now familiar room 

“Is that why I ended things with Alec earlier?”

“I didn't know you had” Ragnor says before pausing “Do you want to talk about that?”

“No” Magnus says simply and the topic is dropped. He wasn’t even sure why he brought it up 

After a long silence between the two, Magnus quickly becoming more and more lost in his thoughts, Magnus’ attention was brought back to Ragnor when he began talking again

“Look Magnus, I don't know a lot. But let me tell you one thing. All this history, all this shit...” Ragnor says shaking the file in indication before tossing it on the desk, “This is not your fault”

With those words Magnus feels something in his chest tighten. No one who knows about the abuse has ever said that it was Magnus’ fault, and he should know that, he is the victim in this scenario yet, deep down he does blame himself. Instead of letting any of this show, he shrugs and smoothly responds, “Oh, I know”

“It's not your fault” he repeats

“I know” Magnus says with a smile

“It's not your fault”

“I know” Magnus says, serious this time, I order to get Ragnor to stop 

“It's not your fault”

“I know Ragnor” Magnus says straightening from his leaning position

“It's not your fault”

“Don't fuck with me Ragnor not you too” Magnus says, feeling his throat tighten, threatening tears 

Ragnor comes around the desk so that he is standing right in front of Magnus, looking him in the eye as he says again “It is not. your. fault” 

Unable to avoid the tears welling up in his eyes, Magnus looks away

“It's not-“

Something in Magnus finally breaks and he puts his head in his hands as the tears flow from his eyes, “I know, I know”

All of Magnus’ defenses had been figured out and broken down till he was reduced to the scared child he once was and in a way still is. By accepting the fact that, he isn’t unlovable, he isn’t a burden who just makes life harder for everyone he encounters, and it wasn’t his fault that people are monsters, he is able to open himself up to love and be loved and that, was the first step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback, comments and kudos are well appreciated  
> Hope you enjoyed  
> Sorry for any grammar errors or sentence mistakes


	4. Cracks in my hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy

       Alec gazed out the window, watching as the many lights of New York slowly faded away behind clouds. Straightening in his seat Alec sighed. It had been less then 6 hours since Magnus had walked out, taking Alec’s heart with him. The pain was ever present, like a pit in his stomach and a tight feeling in his chest. All he wanted to do was cry but that would just attract attention from the other passengers on the packed plan and it would make his nearly 7 hour flight way longer and uncomfortable. Instead of having a complete mental collapse like he wanted to do, he instead decided to succumb to sleep, because, he did wake up at 3am after all. Apparently a 7 hour nap is exactly what his body was craving because when he woke up they were landing. Alec quickly collected his stuff from baggage claim and made his way out. He was in the midst of pulling out his phone when he heard his name being called. He looked in the direction or came and quickly spotted his friend Aline, who he immediately made his way over to, embracing her in a hug and saying hello. Because of the fact that Alec knew Aline lived in the area, they set up to have him stay at her place while he searched for a nice apartment for himself. The two chattered pleasantly as they drove to Aline’s place, arriving in front of her flat in a few minutes time. Aline helped Alec unpack, setting him up in his room so that he can get some decent sleep after such a long travel. After everything was said and done Aline paused and regarded Alec

“Hey are you ok?” She asked with a concerned look

Alec nodded and shrugged, “I mean yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know you just seem..out of it, you know? Not yourself” Aline says before pausing, “did something happen?”

Alec shook his head and sighed, “No no, I’m just..tired”

Aline nodded in understanding, although she didn’t look convinced in the slightest, she left with a goodnight.

Alec immediately fell into his bed with a heavy sigh.

Alec would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t love Magnus Bane. Because, he did love Magnus, with everything that he had but... Magnus most certainly didn’t feel the same and what was he suppose to do? When Alec had met Magnus months ago he knew that nothing in his life would ever be the same. Magnus’ likable personality and the way he just seemed to understand Alec without him even having to say anything, immediately made Alec’s walls crumble. He really should’ve known it wouldn’t end well between them and he was foolish to dream, but, at least now he knew better and would not be making the same mistake again.

——————————

Alec hummed to himself as he stretched and warmed up. It was now Monday and his first day meeting all the dancers in the company that he’d be assigned to work with. He already met the staff that day before, and they were all welcoming as ever to Alec’s relief. There was still another 25 minutes or so until it was time to meet the dancers and Alec was excited. Due to it being spring season, the company was putting on Harlequinade and Alec had to make sure everyone learned their part and was up to par to perform. Standing up he went connected his phone to the quite expensive stereo equipment via Bluetooth and scrolled through his dance playlist until he came to the song he’d been making his own separate piece to. Making pieces was something Alec loved to do, even though rarely anyone saw them or even knew about them. He clicked on the song and got into position, waiting for the music to begin before he danced what he’d been working on

 _Find_ _me_ _another_ _place_ _in_ _time_. _If_ _only_ , _if_ _only_ _you_ _were_ _mine_ , _but_ _I’m_ _already_ _someone_ _else’s_ _baby_

He executed the choreography he already made for the song, using ballet but incorporating more fluid movements then was usually acceptable

 _Guess_ _I_ _had_ _my_ _last_ _chance_ , _and_ _now_ _this_ _is_ _our_ _last_ _dance_ , _you_ _fell_ _through_ _the_ _cracks_ _in_ _my_ _hands_

This part in the music, Alec hadn’t figured out exactly what he wanted to do so he just threw out whatever came to mind, throwing out jumps and turns smoothly

 _How_ _to_ _say_ _it’s_ _over_. _But_ _I’m_ _already_ _someone_ _else’s_ _baby_ _oooahhh_

Alec sighed and plopped down on the floor, laying down and staring up at the ceiling as he caught his breath. Dancing always lifted his mood, his ability to control his body and in a way make it into art made him extremely at ease. Laying here right now though, he couldn’t help but feel the same right feeling in his chest that he had felt on the train, and his mind wandered to Magnus, like it often had over these past few days.

 _I_ _don’t_ _love_ _you_

Those words had echoed through his brain, paired with the cold look in Magnus’ eyes, and Alec couldn’t help but feel stupid. Stupid for ever thinking Magnus would settle down, especially with someone like him. He let his brain carry him into believing something that was never going to happen. Alec should’ve known better-

A knock followed by the door opening cause Alec to sit up, looking to see who was here. In walked a  blonde guy and a petite blonde girl both chattering about something until they both noticed Alec sitting there in the middle of the room. Alec quickly stood 

“Oh sorry, I didn’t notice you there” the blonde boy states looking sheepish while the blonde girl nods in agreement before walking over to Alec, and sticking out a hand

“You must be the new head of this place, I’m Lydia and that one over there in Underhill”    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any spelling errors  
> Feedback, comments and kudos are appreciated

**Author's Note:**

> Definition  
> Will- expressing inevitable events
> 
> Feedback, comments and kudos are heavily appreciated 
> 
> This is mostly just a way for me to get my creative juices flowing again and I probably will delete at some point in time


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